TRANSPORT FOR LONDON: Call centre.
[Phone rings] bring bring.
TfL Customer adviser: “Hello, Transport for London. How may I help you”
Me: [clears throat] “Ahem, I was wondering if you could help me with some information”
TfL: “Of course”
Me: “This congestion charge, how much are tanks? We are planning on having a revolution and want to invade London.”
TfL “I see. They are about £500 each for a day. How many tanks do you have?”
Me: “About 5,000 or so, We stole the from the Army. Tell me, do I have to pay up front or do I have to pay later?”
Tfl: “You have two days to pay. But good luck with the revolution and then you might not have to pay. I hate my job.”